How to find a common language with an out of control teenager?

At the age of 12-15, changes begin to occur in the child's body, which are very difficult. As a rule, they also affect the psyche of a teenager, sometimes causing radical changes in behavior. A nice, obedient boy becomes a rude, unauthoritative brute, a domestic girl becomes a rebel, and the situation seems to get only worse with time. But is it really so?

What is the reason for the difficult behavior of teenagers?

An out of control teenager is one of the biggest nightmares of parents. Many with bated breath wait for the promised disobedience, emotional surges and... do not receive them. But others have to experience the full burden of teenage rebellion. Why is this happening?

The reasons for uncontrollable behavior can be:

• Psychological. Infantile, impulsive, initially emotionally unstable children experience a difficult stage of growing up more difficult than their peers.
• Biological. Such features of a child, such as, for example, increased excitability of the central nervous system, leave their mark on behavior.
• Social. The loneliness of a teenager, the lack of understanding from parents and teachers, the lack of moral support always exacerbate the problem.
• Economic. Statistically, out of control teenagers appear more often in families with an unsatisfactory financial situation. Parents' workload trying to get out of the financial hole or their marginal behavior leads to the fact that their child feels unwanted and uses bad behavior as a way to attract attention or as a sign of protest.
• Moral. If a child grows up in an atmosphere of neglect of moral values, having before his eyes a bad example of adults, he will behave accordingly. Why hold back and consider the feelings of others if others do not it? One should not underestimate the influence of friends, who often push a teenager to antisocial acts.

It is also worth considering that at this age, a teenager begins to experience sexual tension, which he still does not know how to cope with. No wonder behavioral problems begin!

Signs of out of control behavior

You can’t say that a teenager is out of control because he once refused to wash the dishes or ran away to a party without permission. Short acts of disobedience are common to everyone, especially a growing child who explores the boundaries of what is permitted.

An alarm should be sounded if the behavior of a teenager begins to interfere with his normal study and interaction with people. His academic performance drops sharply, he often goes into conflict, is rude to others, demonstrates consistently a gloomy mood, and begins to take alcohol or drugs.

How should parents behave?

First of all, do not hope that everything will pass by itself. Yes, some teenage rebellion is a normal stage of growing up, but this does not mean that you can leave the child alone with it. Now more than ever he needs your help.

What to do when your teenager is out of control:

• Keep in touch. Show that you are near your child and ready to help. Even if right now it seems to you that your son or daughter has pulled away, do not stop trying.
• Keep the teenager's faith in himself. Many of the problems of this period occur from a lack of self-esteem.
• Develop your teenager's independence. Determine which areas of your child's life you can trust to his control, and do it.

What not to do:

• Shift responsibility to specialists. Seeing a psychologist is not forbidden, but only if it does not take the form of “Where can I send my out of control teenager and save myself a headache?”
• Make a fuss. Sometimes it can be difficult to resist seeing the behavior of a child, but you have to. Don't forget who is a mature adult of you two!
• Forget about yourself. You are a parent, and this imposes certain responsibilities on you, but it does not mean that you should neglect all interests that do not concern your child.

How not to overdo it with control?

A particularly sensitive issue during this period is the right of a teenager to privacy. Your desire to be aware of what is happening is understandable, but make sure that it does not become offensive.

For example, a GPS watch will help to look after a child remotely, it will tell you where he is, will allow you to send a SOS signal and keep in touch without fear of losing a useful gadget, as happens with a phone. True, for all their advantages, they have a lot of disadvantages: they are expensive, they are quickly discharged, and many models have very limited functionality.

More useful will be the Kidsfinder parental control application downloaded to your smartphone. It will not only perform all the functions of a GPS watch, but also give you access to the history of a teenager’s movements for several days, warn you about his exit from a safe geofence and even help you to listen surrounding environment. The last function requires a particularly scrupulous attitude, otherwise you risk destroying the trust between you.

Remember, you are not the first to face the difficulties of adolescence. Accept it as a fact that your family will be stormy for some time, and do not give up. Love, faith in your child and patience overcame even not such crises.